Salutations™!!

Is there a governing body for cutlery and silverware?

I was looking through my silverware drawer (as one does) and was noticing all the there-is-no-spoon-there-is-no-spoon-liar-demotivational-poster-1253012467different kinds, shapes and styles of utensils. I was trying to figure out why one is shaped one way and another another way. Now, of course, I understand practicality and comprehensive use, I’m not questioning that. I am wondering, who is it that said this was the end-all-be-all of tableware?

Was there a group of people in blood-red robes with hoods and burlap rope belts sitting round an oblong table, calling themselves the Blades and Tines (as opposed to Skull and Bones) voting like the Cutlery Illuminati to which design will be the “standard” issue of kitchen table weaponry?

“Yes, Brother Beavis, I agree that the sugar spoon, and various forms therein, shall look like the teaspoon yet with a flattened nose and deeper bowl, henceforth.”
“Can we make it look like a shell or shovel, Brother Mynard?”
“Oh, yes, Brother Clontz, that is a marvelous idea.”
“All in favor? Motion carried. On to the butter spreader!”

At some point, there was a standard that was established because while the embellishments may differ, the basic premise is always the same when you purchase “sets” to give to the honeymooners that had nothing of their own to start their new life together. I’ve always been fascinated with how this happens.Granted there’s probably only a few companies that make all the different sets and they use their own standards, but the general pattern is the same.

The same curiosity thing goes for the first person to fry meat or an egg? How long did it take people to stop eating raw chicken because they kept getting sick? These are called imponderables, and there’s a series of books written by David Feldman about them and I own about five or six of them. I don’t remember any of these questions being asked or addressed, though. Hmm. Perhaps I should write Mr. Feldman with an inquiry? I probably won’t.

Still, that sugar spoon is a mystery. To my knowledge, neither The BCPF nor myself have ever used it as such. I just pull it out when the other spoons are dirty and I need some peanut butter. I’m not afeared and I’m not ashamed to say so. I defy those who say I can’t! Bah! I say… Bah! Okay, I’ve gotten silly. I’m out.

Until tomorrow, same blog channel…


“Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.” – Spoonboy from The Matrix (1999)